Tuesday, July 20, 2010

how to manage personal finances


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One of the more stressful aspects of the newly married is deciding how to arrange your finances. Some people believe individuals who marry should maintain their own bank accounts, credit cards and everything else they had before the marriage. Others still maintain that once couples marry, they should pool all of their resources and share them jointly. And then there are course those that fall somewhere in-between. Different methods work for different people and the trick is figuring out which is best for you. If you are someone who is newly married or plan to be any time soon, the list below of five savvy tips on how to manage your money after marriage can serve as a guideline, with suggestions and pitfalls, for the various arrangements.

1 - Pool Everything. Certainly there is risk in pooling everything. The first is because one of the parties in the marriage may be more of a spendthrift, or have difficulty controlling costs. Or one may be a averse to spending money on anything they deem unnecessary. Another problem arises whenever the couple find they need to reach a consensus on major purchases, or even minor ones if the combined income is still small. The biggest risk of all of course is that the marriage won't last and one or the other will feel cheated if they came to the marriage with more assets.

2 - Keep everything separate. One of the leading causes of contention within marriages is money, so it would seem the way to avoid this problem is for both parties to maintain their own accounts rather than share. The problem here is that people are human, and thus have feelings. If one of the people in the relationship makes more money than the other, there lies an inherent imbalance in the way their life will be lived. The person who makes less may come to resent having to ask for money, or the one who makes more may begin to feel they should have more say in where the money is spent. There is also another issue that may not become apparent until several years into the marriage, and that is when there are separate accounts, people are able to hide purchases of things they don't want their spouse to know about, which can lead to all manner of ugly things. Finally, there are quite often feelings that unless everything in a marriage is shared, there won't be feeling of a true bonding between the two people as life becomes navigated individually rather than as a team.

3 - Find a middle ground. There is of course the possibility of finding a middle ground. For example both people can maintain separate bank accounts and/or credit cards, and also open a shared account for shared expenses. In fact, this is quite often what people do. This is especially important regarding credit cards, and doubly so if one of the parties to the marriage has more difficulty controlling credit purchases. By maintaining separate credit cards, separate credit histories are maintained as well, which could be a blessing if one of the people involved destroys their credit by overextending themselves. Finally, by maintaining separate credit histories, the more responsible person won't be responsible for the others debt should the marriage fail.

4 - Personal differences. One of the biggest hurdles many couples face is when there are differences of opinion on which of the three options described above to choose. Quite often the person that makes more prefers the separate accounts structure, leaving the person who makes less to feel as if they have little or no choice in the matter, which can lead to resentment. In addition there are often extended family issues, such as when in-laws have opinions on how finances should be handled in a marriage. Religious issues may also arise as there are many faiths that believe if a couple doesn't pool their resources, they're not truly joined, and thus not truly married in the eyes of god.

5 - Bottom line. What this all means is that newly married couples need to look very closely at how they feel about marriage and money. Each needs to decide for themselves first whether they believe in pooling resources or not. And if so, how strongly do they feel. In addition, the difference in pay scale between the two people needs to be looked at very carefully to avoid contention later on. For example, if one person makes significantly more money than the other, and the couple has chosen to keep their finances separate, will the one that makes more contribute more towards the major cost factors, such as mortgage and utilities? These are things that need to be decided as soon after (or even before) the wedding as possible so as to minimize the possibility of contention later on. The bottom lines is, regardless of which financial options couples choose, there needs to be a consensus or there will be trouble later.

These five savvy tips on how to manage your money after marriage are meant as guidelines for people who are newly married and haven't' yet thoroughly thought through how they want to manage their finances. If you are in such a position, I hope these tips help you figure out which way to go. Good luck.


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